Nudes Still No-Go For iPhone but Booze Apps No Problem

Since Apple has decided, wrongly, to play moral gate-keeper over the App Store, banning any iPhone App they deem “inappropriate” for a score of muddy reasons, I think it is fair to ask why they are banning nude women but happily allowing booze brands like Absolut to promote drinking through sponsored applications.

Absolute’s new iPhone App, “Drinkspiration” is free to all and simply requires that the downloader click a box promising that they are over the age of 17.  Now, let’s forget about how worthless this is as an effective age barrier, how about the fact that the legal drinking age in the US is 21?

In truth, I don’t think Apple should ban this App, or any other App for that matter.  Instead, I am trying to make the point that Apple has opened itself up to a world of criticism now from all  sides.  If they ban the App they are unwanted gatekeepers and if they allow it then they are aiding in the corruption of America’s youth.

Maybe Apple will someday relinquish their role and let adults decide what they want to see in the App store but until then I hope Apple gets nothing but grief for every decision, pro or con, they make in regards to Application approval.

Apple Releases New Sexy App Guidelines for Developers

After the release, and subsequent takedown of the first iPhone App to display naked boobs, “Hottest Girls,” Apple has put out a new set of guidelines to help developers steer clear of a similar fate.

Apple iPhone App “Sexy” Guidelines:

1) Apps containing nothing but pictures of women over the age of 18 will be permitted in the App Store as long as said women are not exposing any of their “bathsuit suit” parts.

2) Apps may allow users to undress said women as long as they only take off a single layer of clothing.  Removal of more than one layer of clothing will get you banned.

3) All said women must wear underwear that covers the entire pubic region (don’t make me say the v-word) and at least one-third of the tuchus while exposing none of the separation between cheeks.  On top, said women may expose as much boob as they can without showing the world even a glimpse of areola or nipple.  Therefore, the smaller said woman’s areola, the more breast can be exposed.  Now, nipples. They can poke through the thinnest, wettest fabric you’ve got, but the user may NOT see the actual nipple skin.

4) Apps may allow users to manipulate the breasts of said women via the touch-screen as long as they user is not able to see the actual flesh being manipulated.

5) Similar Apps featuring scantily clad men will be banned due to the fact that they may cause homosexuality, thus violating the App Store’s basic TOS.

Apple hopes this clears things up in the “sexy” App department.  Look forward to more guidelines from Apple including “Words and Phrases to Avoid in eBooks” and “What’s Ok to Gun Down.”

Real Porn (Well, Boobs, Anyhow) Coming to iPhone Apps

According to Macenstein, an iPhone app maker has decided to challenge the Apple ban on porn in the App Store:

The app responsible for taking iTunes’ virginity is called “Hottest Girls” ($1.99), an app that until today was merely a bunch of Asian chicks in lingerie. However the app has gone through a massive update, and besides now boasting “You should be happy to know that the new update contains 99% non-Asian images”, it is now the first officially sanctioned iTunes app to contain topless photos.

Now, it seems likely that even before I hit publish that Apple will take down this app and perhaps even exert their power to remove the app iPhones that have already purchased the app.

The question is, should Apple do this?  If they don’t you can definitely expect to see a flood of porn-related Apps dominating the App Store.  I mean, the argument has been made that the internet itself was created originally as a better way to get porn to the masses.

Anyone wanting to see naked girls on their iPhone can always hop on Safari but if you are offline you are out of luck.  New Apps like “Hottest Girls,” while beyond silly, certainly solve that problem.

The whole issue of Apple being the moral police of what applications consenting adults put on their iPhone has always been contentious.   Apple has a great opportunity to create a reasonable age-verification process all allow users to decide just how much immoral content they can handle.

Not only would this be a big income generator but it will offer yet another reason NOT to jail-break your phone.  Something Apple would really like to see stopped.

Unfortunately, I doubt Apple will see it that way and it will be some time before the App Store opens up to all perversions.

Apple’s “Closed” App Store Actually Hurts Profit Potential of iPhone

The word on the web the last day or so is that Apple has only made somewhere between $20-$50 million from the sale of iPhone Apps.  While not chump change, it doesn’t make a big impression on Apple’s overall revenue.

As SAI says:

Apple has said publicly that its plan is to run the App Store near breakeven. The main idea is to make money by selling iPhones and iPods, which Apple is doing nicely.

If the point of Apps is to boost the sale of iPhone, why would Apple be so against opening up the App Store to all application? Why not step away from the constantly problematic position of moral/ethic/technical boarder guard and let Apps for the iPhone be an open marketplace?

The coolest Apps out there are often only currently available to the few out there willing to jailbreak their iPhones, voiding their warantee and risking having their iPhones bricked with Apple’s latest update.

Many of the Apps that Apple have rejected (video recording, cut and paste, etc.) are exactly the ones that would encourage more people to buy an iPhone and that’s where Apple claims all their profit lies.

It’s also downright creepy and weird for Apple, a hardware/software company, suddenly trying to decide what is “appropriate” content.  Since the iPhone comes with a web browser capable of opening the pages of porn sites, it seems completely absurd to tell adults they can’t have certain software because it violates some vague concept of morality in the eyes of Apple.

Not only that, but because of Apple’s crazy position as gatekeeper there is a constant stream of bad press on which App was or wasn’t accepted by Apple.  What does Apple get for all this negative press?  If they just opened up the system they would have a simple defense: Hey, it’s not our job to tell people what they can and can’t do with their iPhones once they buy them.

Baby Shaker iPhone App Short-Lived

Considering how hard it was for iFart to be approved for sale in the iPhone app store, one really has to wonder how an app called “Baby Shaker” made it through all the red tape.

For a relatively brief time, “Baby Shaker” was available for purchase at the iTunes app store. Now, after a few major blog posts and tons of twitters, the app has been removed.

Still, how did this ever get listed in the first place?

Other apps recently pulled by Apple include Nazi Sympathizer, iKKK, Puppy Kicker Lite, Skin the Cat, PedoFinder2 and Sexting: The Game.